Monday, 5 January 2009

Some Inspiration!

Hi folks, Louise here,
How are you all getting on with Karen's funny challenge? A little challenged on the humour front maybe? Well worry no more, help is at hand with these one liners, you have no excuse for not playing now......

You know you're getting old when.....
Your back goes out more than you do.
The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere the night before.
You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
You wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before.
(Dottie in bed image maybe?)
You don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.
It takes twice as long to look half as good
.(Salon Dottie?)
Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... have come back in style.(
Hippy Dottie/George)
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
You start video taping daytime game shows.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
You look for your glasses for half-an-hour, then find they've been on your head all the time.
You wake up, looking like your driver's license picture.
Happy hour is a nap.
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You are proud of your lawn mower.(Gardening George)
You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't remember being on top of it.
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.
You frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
Your new easy chair has more options than your car
.(Knitting Dottie)
You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative.
Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
You don't remember being absentminded.
You have more patience; but actually, it's just that you don't care any more.
Your drugs of preference are now vitamins.
You read more and remember less.
The highway patrol sigh or shake their heads but don't give you a ticket.
Younger men ask you for advice.
A 'late night' now ends at 11 pm.
You develop a knack for wearing hats.


If a character doesn't spring to mind how about giving Henry hare a walking stick, or Donald Donkey glasses, you get the idea right?

Don't forget, it's the only way to get your hands on....

Scruff in The Tub!

3 comments:

Nicky said...

I am going to have to keep this list what a great collection of one liners for cards and scrapbooks each one I read I could see a card and funnier still see who I would send it too. LOL.

Jac said...

These are bril and like Nicky I can actually see some cards coming togtether, so where I was struggling I may now succeed and there I was worrying Scruff in the Tub would pass me by! Thank you Lou. x

Michele said...

PMSL - Nearly finished my card but had to read these. I love these I'll also have to keep a copy for when I'm stuck. Michele x

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